Apparently, this is also one of the few times a year I can muster the discipline to sit down and write anything for this erratic, ever-diminishing blog. But the New Year is not the time to quibble over details or fixate on failures! Let's be hopeful, and optimistic, and believe that this is the year I will write at least five blog posts!
Or, at least one more than last year...which was one.
So, let's go for TWO!!!!
You can tell I am filled with all of the hopes and dreams that a new year and a NEW DECADE inevitably bring. I am positively Pollyanna!
This year my Word of the Year (henceforth to be known as WOTY), came to me well before the close of 2019. I wasn't even trying to think of one, and my train of thought was really somewhere entirely different, but I've found my WOTY can be tricky that way. It likes to sneak into my subconscious when I least suspect it.
It's like a ninja WOTY.
But let's back up for a minute...
My WOTY came to me on a day when I was feeling a bit melancholy (it happens) and was fixating a bit too much on unknowns, things that are a-changing, and just generally stuff I can't really control. That's always a good recipe for melancholy.
There are good things happening all around me. I'm watching my children, especially my older two, step into new opportunities and live their lives more and more independently. That's always been the goal, right? That whole "Preparing to Launch" thing means...one day they launch. And one of my main goals as a mom has always been to allow my kids to grow up free from feeling that they owe me a certain amount of time, attention, or gratitude. I want very much to have relationships with them for as long as I am on this earth, but I don't want relationships that are coerced or borne of out of guilt. I want them to be free and to know that I am always right here...their #1 fan.
I love all the ways they are forging their own paths and making their way in the world.
But I do miss them.
2020 also brings a milestone birthday for me.
Yep, all of us 1970 babies are turning 50 this year!
For the most part, I'm fine with every new age that comes along. I tend to not get too focused on birthdays, even the biggies. But this one carries some extra...stuff.
I rarely do parties or even much else in the way of celebrating my birthdays. (Although I do refuse to ever cook dinner on my birthday. That's my bare minimum.) I'm just not that into them. But the two big-ish parties I did have, for my 30th and my 40th, were both orchestrated, directed, and insisted upon by Tracy. Now SHE was a party girl, in the very best way.
There is no doubt in my mind she would not have allowed my 50th to pass quietly.
It is also always on my heart that our favorite party girl never had the chance to celebrate her 50th.
So, on this melancholy day, I was thinking about all these good things, hard things, things that have been, things that never will be, and all of the things I'm hoping for and wishing for... and it came to me...
It was so obvious.
My 2020 Word of the Year is....
CELEBRATE.
(And if you just heard Kool and the Gang start singing in your head, well, you are my people.)
Celebrate the little things.
Celebrate the big things.
Celebrate the everyday.
Celebrate the extraordinary.
Celebrate all we have been given.
Celebrate all that lies ahead.
Find something to celebrate every. single. day.
In many ways celebrating is both natural and foreign to me. I'm looking forward to celebrating in ways that come easily to me, and also stretching myself to celebrate those things that might challenge me.
I want to celebrate for myself and for others. I really want to celebrate for others.
2020 is the year I find my inner cheerleader (a cheerleader who can't even touch her toes and never in her life could do the splits). An inflexible but enthusiastic cheerleader!!
I'm still not going to have a big party for my 50th, but I do promise not to let the day pass without some sort of celebration, however small. It may not be entirely Tracy-approved, but she knows me and I believe she will understand.
Mostly, I intend to focus on the everyday and celebrating all the small, good things that make up a life.
An unexpected text message from a friend.
A meme that makes me laugh.
Sleeping in.
Good news shared by my adult children.
Couch and TV time with Annie.
Dog snuggles.
A husband who snowblows in winter, gathers leaves in the fall, and cuts the grass in the summer. And a million other ways he takes such good care of us.
Chips and salsa.
After school visits from my niece and nephew.
Sister time.
A good book.
Watching the cousins swimming at the lake.
Snowy winters and hot summers. (Although the snow gets harder and harder to celebrate the older I get...)
French fries.
Fresh baked cookies.
Champagne. (!!!) (TONIGHT!)
The list goes on and on.
So, off I go into this year of Celebration. If you have any good news to share in 2020, large or small, be sure to let me know and I will be the first to give you a big, "WOOHOO!!!!" (I can and will do the 'Woohoo", but do not expect splits or cartwheels. I am 50, after all. Almost.)
And, because no WOTY is complete without a VOTY:
Happy New Year, friends!
I celebrate each and every one of you!
XO
